Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia

I never heard this song before I got Bebo Norman's Christmas album, but it's by Jackson Browne, and it is a wonderful wonderful song. Check it out if you can find it somewhere.

All the streets are filled with laughter and light
And the music of the season
And the merchant's windows are all bright
With the faces of the children
And the families hurry into their homes
As the sky darkens and freezes
We'll be gathering around our hearths and tables
Giving thanks for God's graces
And the birth of the rebel Jesus

O they call him by the Prince of Peace
And they call him by the Savior
And they pray to him upon the seas
And in every bold endeavor
As they fill his churches with their pride and gold
And their faith in him increases
But they've turned the nature that I worship in
From a temple to a robber's den
In the words of the rebel Jesus

We guard our world with locks and guns
And we guard our fine possessions
And once a year when Christmas comes
We give to our relations
And perhaps we give a little to the poor
If the generosity should seize us
But if any one of us should interfere
In the business of why they are poor
They get the same as the rebel Jesus

But pardon me if I have seemed
To take the tone of judgment
For I've no wish to come between
This day and your enjoyment
In this life of hardship and of earthly toil
We have need for anything that frees us
So I bid you pleasure
And I bid you cheer
From a heathen and a pagan
On the side of the rebel Jesus

Amazing song. Bebo wrote a whole little paragraph about it in the liner notes for his Christmas album, about how he feels like this song embodies what he is trying to say with his album, how it speaks about the "core cause of Christ" that gets lost so often in the commercialism of American Christmas.

Here's a list of the 100 Top Grossing movies - bold the ones you've seen.



Titanic (1997)
The Dark Knight (2008)
Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (1977)
Shrek 2 (2004)
E. T. The Extra-Terrestrial (1982)
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)
Spider-Man (2002)
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005)
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
Spider-Man 2 (2004)
The Passion of the Christ (2004)
Jurassic Park (1993)
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)
Finding Nemo (2003)
Spider-Man 3 (2007)
Forrest Gump (1994)
The Lion King (1994)
Shrek the Third (2007)
Transformers (2007)
Iron Man (2008)
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001)
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007)
Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983)
Independence Day (1996)
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
The Sixth Sense (1999)
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007)
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005)
Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005)
Home Alone (1990)
The Matrix Reloaded (2003)
Meet the Fockers (2004)
Shrek (2001)
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)
The Incredibles (2004)
Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)
Jaws (1975)
I Am Legend (2007)
Monsters, Inc. (2001)
Batman (1989)
Night at the Museum (2006)
Men in Black (1997)
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
Toy Story 2 (1999)
Cars (2006)
Bruce Almighty (2003)
Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
Twister (1996)
My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002)
Ghostbusters (1984)
Beverly Hills Cop (1984)
X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)
War of the Worlds (2005)
Cast Away (2000)
The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)
Signs (2002)
Hancock (2008)
The Bourne Ultimatum (2007)
Rush Hour 2 (2001)
WALL·E (2008)
National Treasure: Book of Secrets (2007)
Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)
King Kong (2005)
Ghost (1990)
The Da Vinci Code (2006)
Aladdin (1992)
Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007)
Saving Private Ryan (1998)
Mission: Impossible 2 (2000)
Kung Fu Panda (2008)
X2: X-Men United (2003)
Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)
Back to the Future (1985)
300 (2006)
Wedding Crashers (2005)
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
Ratatouille (2007)
Austin Powers 2: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)
Batman Begins (2005)
Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
The Exorcist (1973)
The Mummy Returns (2001)
Armageddon (1998)
Superman Returns (2006)
Gone With the Wind (1939)
Pearl Harbor (2001)
Happy Feet (2006)
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
Ice Age: The Meltdown (2006)
Madagascar (2005)
Toy Story (1995)
Men in Black II (2002)
Gladiator (2000)
The Day After Tomorrow (2004)
Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005)

Put your iTunes/Ruckus/Napster/etc. on shuffle.
For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
Tag 10 friends who might enjoy doing this.

1. If someone says, “Is this Okay?” you say…
"Mister Santa" Amy Grant
2. What would best describe your personality?
"Take a Walk on the Wild Side" Lou Green (HAH!)
3. What do you like in a guy/girl?
"We Delight" Caedmon's Call (I like to delight in a guy, or I like him to delight in God?)
4. How do you feel today?
"My Friend (So Long)" DC Talk
5. What is your life’s purpose?
"I Wanna Marry You All Over Again" Derek Webb (Kimmee, it came up on mine, too!!)
6. What is your motto?
"Six Different Ways" The Cure (ummm, six different ways of what?)
7. What do you think of your parents?
"There is a River" Jars of Clay (??)
8. What do you think about very often?
"Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" Wham (HAH!!)
9. What is 2+2?
"Always Something There to Remind Me" Naked Eyes
10. What do you think of your best friends?
"Father, Hear the Prayer We Offer" Eden's Bridge (we pray?)
11. What do you think of the person you like?
"God Must Be a Boogie Man" Joni Mitchell (what?!)
12. What is your life’s story?
"Need Your Love" Caedmon's Call (I'm needy for love?)
13. What do you want to be when you grow up?
"Babe in the Straw" Caedmon's Call (apparently, I have a LOT of CC music and want to be Jesus)
14. What do you think when you see the person you like?
"I See You" Rich Mullins (how fitting!)
15. What do your parents think of you?
"Without You" Plumb
16. What will you dance to at your wedding?
"Rods and Cones" Blue Man Group (while that would have been hilarious, it did not happen)
17. What will they play at your funeral?
"You Will Be a Hot Dancer" Incubus (I would LOVE it if they play that!)
18. What is your hobby/interest?
"I Want You Back" Jackson 5 (ok, I'm a stalker?)
19. What is your biggest secret?
"Somewhere Out There" Linda Ronstadt & James Ingram (my biggest secret is somewhere...)
20. What do you think of your friends?
"Sing We Noel" (they love Chrismtas?)
21. What’s the worst thing that could happen?
"Bleeding" Sixpence (bleeding would be bad, maybe not the worst...)
22. How will you die?
"Art in Me" Jars of Clay (huh?)
23. Does anyone like you?
"Where Does My Heart Beat Now" Celine Dion (hmm...)
24. If you could go back in time, what would you change?
"Made for TV Movie" Incubus (maybe I wouldn't have watched any?)
25. What hurts right now?
"The Economy of Mercy" Switchfoot
26. What will you post this as?
"Once Upon a Dream" from Sleeping Beauty

I applied for a job at the Chelsea Animal Hospital a few weeks ago. I received an interested response very quickly and went through the interview process. I really liked the atmosphere of the place and all the people I met. They offered me the job last Thursday, and I officially accepted it today! I came home with my "Chelsea Animal Hospital" embroidered scrubs and new job paperwork. I will start working a few short shifts beginning on Tuesday, but I won't be completely switched over until October 1. My last day at SAU will be September 30.

What a beautiful answer to prayer! I will have to drive 25 miles to work each day, but it is all highway driving, and I'm discovering at least 2 other people who work there live in Jackson as well. Future carpool possibilities? Maybe.

I am SO EXCITED. I have never been this excited about a job before, but I think that's because I've never had a job I really thought I would like before.

Yaaaaaaaay!!!!

Do you remember the person you first kissed?
definitely

Have you ever kissed someone you weren't dating?
yes

Ever kissed an ex after you broke up?
yes

Kissed someone with a gf or bf?
I don't think so

Ever kissed someone younger than you?
yes

Older than you?
yes

Have you ever kissed someone you didn't like?
yes

Ever madeout with someone who was a really bad kisser?
yes

Kissed or Been Kissed YES or NO

On the cheek
yes

On the forehead
yes

On the nose
yes

On the lips
yes

With tongue
quite

In the park
yes

In public
yes

In a car
yes

While driving in the back seat
don't think so...?

In the movies
yes

On a bench
yes

Upside down
yes

Sitting on their lap
yes

Laying down
yes

In broad daylight
yes

At a fair
nope

At night
yes

In the rain
yes

All of the above
no..

Your LAST kiss

The last time you kissed someone?
today

Was it a game? (truth or dare, spin the bottle?)
no

Was this person older than you?
yes

Was it a friend?
husband :)

Do you regret this kiss?
no way


Yeah, I'm just waiting for the synchronized swimming to come on...'cause I'm a nerd who likes to watch that stuff.

I'm in a fantastic mood today, so I thought I should do a positive post instead of my usual whining and venting. Yay! It's going to be list-style, like Breyona.

-It's Friday, and I have totally CONQUERED this week!! I get the gold. :)
-Summer Olympics are on, and I loooooooooove the Olympics!
-Amanda's zucchini brownies are a big hit at work, and I really enjoy them, too
-I get to watch lots of Olympics tonight with my husband
-Paying off bills this year is going really well, and I'm happy to see the point we are at now compared with where we were in January
-God is good. Always good.
-We are SO going to Norway next year, and probably Denmark, too! Yeah!!!
-It will be fall in about a month. The time for bonfires, apples, cider, pumpkin, and birthdays is nearly upon us!
-Andrea is getting married in December, and it's going to be SO MUCH FUN!!
-FRIDAY!!!!
-Work is pretty calm today, and everyone seems to be in a good mood
-My new haircut is fun and bouncy and light
-My friends are awesome, and I love them all
-I get to see Jenn next week and Katie and baby Jude the week after!
-I get to leave work in 2.5 hours!!
-Melissa and Chandra are both about to have babies! Any day!
-It's Friday! :) :) :)

Are you in a healthy relationship?
Yes :)

What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
A fudgesicle

Have you ever kissed anyone named Matthew?
Yes

Where was your default picture taken?
K-9

Last person you rode in a car with under the age of 20?
oh, hmmmmm...I don't know!

Can you play guitar hero?
on easy :-D

Last time you walked further than a block?
tonight

Name someone that made you laugh today?
Sarah

How late did you stay up last night and why?
about 10:30, 'cause then it was time for bed

If you could move somewhere else, where would it be?
I don't know, somewhere adventurous

Ever been kissed under fireworks?
I don't know

Which of your friends lives closest to you?
My husband

Do you believe ex's can be friends?
sure, why not

Do you prefer to call or text?
don't text

How do you feel about Diet Dr Pepper?
it's yummy

Where is your biological father right now?
in Mattawan

Grab the closest book to you, what does the 13th line on the 67th page say?
"(pl~) driving licence,"

What book was that?
Norwegian-English Dictionary

What was the last thing someone bought for you?
Probably food

When is your birthday?
October 23

Who was the last person you took a picture of?
the Gafkjen/Bregg kiddos

Was yesterday better than today?
YES

Can you live a day without TV?
yes

What are you listening to?
Sid playing Rock Band

Are you mad about anything?
nah, not right now

Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
yes

Do people not realize what those vows say?
I sure hope so

Last time you spent the night at someone's house?
at my parents' sometime last year, I think?

When was the last time you were disappointed?
today. with my job.

Would you take your ex back?
no

Where do you wish you were right now?
on vacation!

What should you be doing right now?
washing dishes or something

Are you a bad influence?
I hope not

Are you more of an individual or an outgoing person?
outgoing people can't be individuals?

What items could you not go without during the day?
clothing

Would you share a drink with a stranger?
probably not

Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
Katie and baby Jude!

Last hug?
Sidney

Do you think its right for straight guys to get their tongue pierced?
why not

Have you ever thrown shoes on a telephone wire?
no

How do you feel about your life right now?
it's like

How many times have you been pulled over by the police?
0

Do you hate anyone?
no.

Do you like anyone right now?
yeah, I like a certain guy... ;)

Anyone upset you lately?
yes

Last person you talked to on the phone?
Mallery

Can you easily tell if someone is fake?
usually

How's your heart?
alright

What do your friends call you?
Amy. Or whore. Or Moe.

Have you ever kissed someone with braces?
yes

If you could change your eye color what would it be?
wouldn't change it

What was the best thing that happened to you last year?
got a house! well, that's good and bad. But mostly good!

When was the last time you cried from laughing so hard?
oh it's been awhile, maybe cookie party night in December?

What school did you attend in elementary?
Mattawan elementary

Do you like Quiznos?
yep

Who do you make fun of the most?
oh I make fun of all my friends pretty equally, gotta share the love!

What's the longest you've ever talked on the phone?
probably a couple hours back in the middle school days

Have you seen your best friend cry?
uh, yeah.

Where did you last go out to eat?
McDonald's for lunch today, yuck.

Do you dance in the car?
usually

Where did you get your last bruise from?
probably Lizzie, stepping on my feet!

Who is in your house right now?
Sid, me, Lizzie, Tasha, Teal'c, and Jada

Have you ever thought you were going to die?
seriously thought that? no.

Do you have a hard time admitting you're wrong?
not usually

Do you own any Hollister polos?
nope

Who was the last person to call you?
Jason

Are you scared of spiders?
nah

What are your plans for this weekend?
VACATION!!!!

What do you wish you were good at?
playing music by ear.

I Got Tagged
Apparently, this is the blog version of tag- and I'm it! Here are the rules:
Each player answers the questions about themselves. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.

So here it goes.

What were you doing ten years ago?
1998... I was a freshman and sophomore in high school. I was in marching band, being a techie for school musicals, and hating my math classes. Went to Somerset Beach music camp with my friends. Oh goodness- that was the summer I had a fling with David (my first "boyfriend"). :-P

What are five non-work related items on my to-do list today?
Make cookies to welcome the new boss
Take my dog to the vet for her shots
Take my dog for a walk
Make something for dinner
Make a mortgage payment

Five snacks I enjoy:
Popcorn
Ice cream
Cheese
Chips
Peanuts

Five things I'd do if I were a billionaire:
Buy a new house, not in Jackson
Buy Sid's mom a house
Move to Norway for awhile
Not work
Buy a Prius

Places I've lived:
Mattawan, Spring Arbor, Sevilla, Jackson

Jobs I've had (in order of appearance): grocery bagger, library worker, office worker, nursing home meal server, daycare assistant, office worker, computer lab person, financial aid

Tagged Friends:
Ha! If you read this, do it and leave a comment here. When there are five comments, then you don't have to do it after all.

She's writing about the Wailing Wall and the purpose of it.

"This is something I do all the time, shove bits of paper with prayers and names on them into desk drawers, little boxes, my glove compartment. I've found that when you give up on using your mind to solve a problem--which your mind is holding on to like a dog with a chew toy--writing it down helps turn off the terrible alertness. When you're not siphoned into the black hole of worried control and playing fretful Savior, turning the problem over to God or the elves in the glove compartment harnesses something in the universe that is bigger than you, and that just might work."

Yes. There is SO much truth to that little paragraph. Something about just writing the fears and problems, transferring them to a piece of paper (or a computer screen) and getting them out of my head is incredible. That tactile action is the key to releasing the worry and stress from my mind and leaving it on the piece of paper, for God to handle.


*sigh* I love this woman's writing.

For how sad that other song makes me, this one makes me so happy.

"Lucky" -Jason Mraz (w/ some chick, it's a duet)

Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

"Love For a Child" -Jason Mraz

There's a picture on my kitchen wall
Looks like Jesus and his friends involved
There's a party getting started in the yard
There's a couple getting steamy in the car parked in the drive
Was I too young to see this with my eyes?

By the pool last night, apparently
The chemicals weren't mixed properly
You hit your head and then forgot your name
And then you woke up at the bottom by the drain
And now your altitude and memory's a shame

What about taking this empty cup and filling it up
With a little bit more of innocence
I haven't had enough, it's probably because when you're young
It's okay to be easily ignored
I like to believe it was all about love for a child

And when the house was left in shambles
Who was there to handle all the broken bits of glass
Was it mom who put my dad out on his ass or the other way around
Well I'm far too old to care about that now

What about taking this empty cup and filling it up
With a little bit more of innocence
I haven't had enough, it's probably because when you're young
It's okay to be easily ignored
I'd like to believe it was all about love for a child

It's kinda nice to work the floor since the divorce
I've been enjoying both my Christmases and my birthday cakes
And taking drugs and making love at far too young an age
And they never check to see my grades
What a fool I'd be to start complaining now

What about taking this empty cup and filling it up
With a little bit more of innocence
I haven't had enough, it's probably because when you're young
It's okay to be easily ignored
I'd love to believe it's all about love for a child

It was all about love...


If you are at all a Mraz fan and haven't heard his new album (We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things), check it out. It is full of songs with so much more depth and meaning than his previous albums. And this song, that makes me so sad.

All of the admissions staff is on a retreat today through Wednesday. It is soooo quiet over here, and boring!!

I've discovered lately the joys of salad-eating. I've been having salads for lunches for a few weeks now and really enjoying it. I started with a romaine mix, but now I'm eating baby spinach, which is better and more filling. Then I add shredded carrots, shredded cheddar, and a chopped up hard-boiled egg. I have a yummy Italian dressing and also a delicious South Beach Ranch. Yummm. And today, I even have sunflower seeds in my salad, along with all the other things! I bring my salad in a plastic container, so when I add the dressing, I put the lid on the container and shake it all up. Mixes and coats nicely that way. I'm also thinking, whenever I go shopping again, that I might get pepperoni to sprinkle in my salads sometimes. Adding some healthy, protein-rich things to healthy salad greens makes for a filling and refreshing lunch that doesn't weigh me down and make me want to sleep all afternoon.

So there you have it. I like salad.

I also really enjoy string cheese. And Laughing Cow cheese. Sid and I saw this thing in the gourmet cheese case the other day that had big pieces of salami wrapped up with mozzarella. It looked amazingly yummy, but it was $8!! Also probably loaded with lots of fat. So we just put it back and moved on with our shopping.

I could go for an oatmeal raisin cookie about now. Anyone?

Carpooling is great for saving gas money and all, but I get a little bored in the afternoons sometimes. Right around 4:30 or 4:45, when it's almost time to leave, but not quite.
And today, it is thinking about raining. Sprinkled a bit about an hour ago, and now it's just windy and cloudy again.

I can't think of anything interesting to write about. There are some really strange people who hang out in the library on this campus during the summer. Seriously. I see the same few people every day, hunched over in front of their monitors in the computer lab. They don't leave until the library closes. Kinda creepy...

I have a blister on my pinkie toe. That's awfully stupid, since I'm wearing sandals that don't normally bother my pinkie toes.

It's really time for summer weather. I'm tired of all this 60s- low 70s, windy junk and random threats of frost. I'm ready for hot sun, the days when swimming sounds like the best idea anyone ever had, and ice cream, too! It's just taking too darn long this year.

Hopefully it will be nice and hot in about a week or so. That's when Per Erling is coming, and I have all these outdoor things planned, so it had better be nice out!

What a pointless entry. I wish I had something good to say to entertain y'alls. Sorry. Unless you'd like to hear more about my blister. It's quite fascinating, I tell ya.

Or not.

Goodbye.

I biked about 22 miles yesterday! Woo!!! I'm so proud of myself. :) Ok, well Sid was there, too, and a couple other people. It was quite the journey! Way too windy. It would have been much easier without biking against the wind, but what can you do?

It's amazing how good I felt at the end of the ride! I want to ride that trail more often now; it's such a great workout, and it's fun.

I might be turning into a cyclist nerd a little bit. Hehe, that's ok with me.

I miss everybody!! Everyone who lives far away needs to come visit. And even the ones who live close need to come visit. Bonfire Friday...come.

This weekend I began a project I have been meaning to do for at least a year. I started painting our dining chairs and table. The table is wooden with white legs, and the chairs are wooden with white backs and legs. The wood finish still looks fine, but the paint was in serious need of repair. We have 6 chairs for some reason, even though one can only reasonably fit 4 chairs around the table (all the stuff was given to us, so who knows).
Yesterday, I got two chairs and the table legs done. I'm very impressed with the result- they look almost brand new just with a fresh coat of white paint on them! Now I just have four more chairs to do. The chairs take the longest because of all the slats in the chair backs, but I'm so happy with the finished product, I think I can find enough motivation to finish the other 4 chairs.

Also this weekend, Sid set up our new bistro set. It looks so cute and perfect in the little brick patio next to our driveway. Now we can sit there and enjoy our garden, our neighbor's garden, and our cute little pond.

Next is getting our deck built. We have a quote from a builder, so it'll happen soon, just not sure how soon.

Lizzie was spayed last week finally. I'm so glad to have that off the list. She's doing well, although she now has a lump at the top of her back, near her shoulder blades. It feels like a cyst or something. Weird. It developed after the spay, sometime this weekend. Sooooo, I'll be having the vet look at that when I take her to get her stitches out later this week.

Last, but not least, we have daffodils now!! Yaaaay! And all the trees and shrubs have tiny little leaves on them, and our rose bush has buds, and our tulips have buds. I love spring!

Guess that's all. Just felt like writing a little update on the goings-on of the Gafkjen household. Have a great week, folks!

Movies/bands/etc. which include a gerund in the title.

For example:

Finding Nemo
Saving Private Ryan
Forgetting Sarah Marshall



For some reason, these reeeeeeally annoy me. I'm not sure, but it might be because they feel like incomplete sentences to me more than titles.

There are other options for titles to movies such as these. Perhaps Adventures of a Clown Fish or Nemo's Travels. Ok, Finding Nemo is the only one of those movies I have seen. I'm just saying, if the movie was called Adventures of a Clown Fish, there would be no need for the silly gerund!

Sometimes a girl just has to tell someone about the things that annoy her. :)

I dreamed I was late decorating for Christmas. It was only a week away, and I was rushing around frantically trying to get all my decorations up. My neighbors all had their lights up, and my sister-in-law had her tree up, and I had nothing! I was panicking.


Um....ok. Who knows.

Ok, so when we got a foot of snow on Good Friday, I was none too pleased. Fortunately, it has been sunny and above freezing since then, so the snow is rapidly disappearing. AND! There are now not only crocus sprouts in my yard, but TULIPS as well! Yaaay! I am so excited to see flowers outside! I was examining the amazing tulip sprouts today, and I looked around and realized we have lots of plants to look forward to- daffodils, roses, lilacs, peonies, some big bush our neighbor says blooms a lot and smells really good....yay!

Mmhmm, that's all. I'm just really excited about flowers today. :)

Dear Tech support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate



DEAR DESPERATE,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

Also do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.


Good Luck,


Tech Support